Frog in the throat or The proud and noble city of wankers
Given that pretty much everyone we have met so far has told us that Lima was a dump, it almost seems disapointing to discover that it's not. Well, not entirely.
One of the things we first noticed when we crossed the border from Ecuador was that Peru seemed to be a lot poorer country (unacurate apparently), largely because the switch from the lush banana plantations to the arid desert seemed so extreme. Here we have passed many shanty towns constructed of mud and bamboo and the outskirts of Lima are no exception. The city is vast, housing about twenty million people, many of whom live in poverty. A lot of the houses are also unfinished because only those with complete houses need to pay taxes, so even the more upmarket areas of town have a rundown feel.

However the heart of the city is full of spectaular colonial arcitecture. Our local guide (named Rudy) told us that there were five names for the city: The grey city, the city of tremors an earthquakes, the city of balconies, one other one which I forget and the city of wankers. The last (spelt differently I assume) meaning uncarved stone, I think, rather than anything ruder. Our etensive tour took us all over the place. The rich, Americanised suburb on the coast, to the rock mountain in the middle of the city offering views of the vast cemetary and the surrounding slums, but thanks to the smog which continally hangs over the city, not a lot else.

We also visited the Convent of San Francisco. Confusingly, here convents are populated by monks, while nuns all live in monastaries. This one was a wonderful Gormenghasty building, made of wood and bamboo (more flexible in earthquakes) and full of winding catacombs packed with bones and skulls of less than fortunate former residents. There are five wells here, averaging forty foot depths, most of which are crammed with bones, skulls grinning out of the walls acting as guardians. The stories about what was actually going on down there were also quite eye opening. Many of the bodies were of slaves, pregnant nuns, babies with birth defects and so on. Many of the bones had been arranged in a more "entertaining" way (pretty paterns) which seemed a little tastless, but there you go.

The most curious part of the trip involved a frog, and you might want to stop reading here if you're squeamish.
There was an email circulating a while back which included a flash animation of a frog in a blender. You turned the dial up and the poor sod became gradually dismembered, the final stage being a red slush splashing around in the bowl with a pair of eyes widely bobbing on the surface.
Well, yesterday, we went to a shop where a guy lobbed a live frog in a blender switched it on and then offered us the result to drink. And, reader, we did.

Bleugh.

Apparently, the "frog juice" is powerful stuff. Curing all known ills, preventing cancer, aiding with impotence and improving the lungs. Along with the unfortunate amphibian are various secret herbs and spices, fuit juice, honey and wheatgerm. The frog himself was hoisted out of a tank, knocked unconcious and skinned alive before our somewhat watering eyes. The chap was then dropped into the blender with the other ingredients (don't try this at home) and a speedy trip around the blades later, poured into a handful of plastic cups as a sort of beige frothy liquid.
And god help us, we sampled the stuff.
"The only problem," our guide told us unhelpfully as we looked queasily at the cup before us, "is that your mind thinks you are eating the frog!"
D'uh. We were. Well, drinking it anyway. Liquidised frog. Liquidised alive, that is, which doesn't help. How did they discover this for pity's sake? What makes you suddenly think that sticking a frog in a blender might have medicinal value? If it wasn't so damn cheap I would remain convinced that the whole set up was a scam to make gringos pay cash to humiliate themselves. Anyway, we did drink it and it tasted a bit like luke-warm Horlicks, doubless due to the weatgerm. I wouldn't really reccomend it, but hell, I suppose you have to try these things. I think.

Tomorrow, we're off to the nearby town of Pisco, home of the Pisco Sour, a far more palabable local delicacy consisting of a lime liquor and frothed egg whites. Sort of sweet, but somewhat moorish.

I took about two rolls of film yesterday, and given that this includes pictures of hoards of bones and bodies and a skinned frong being stuck in a blender, I have to worry about the poor sod who is going to process them...
- posted by Vince @ 11:18 AM