Possible reason why Gary thinks he hasn´t made friends yet
1. He´s going out and trying to make friends with people. In general, this scares people off. Going up to someone and saying "Can I be your friend" is, well, scary.
2. He tells anyone who´ll listen about his gunk seeping scalp.
3. He´s stuck with me. (Obviously unrealistic, this one)
4. He talks to everyone in his own made up language with three vowels, two constanants and only one verb (to eat).
5. He simply has too many friends already and couldn´t possibly get anymore unless one of his current friends dies and a vacancy appears.
6. His party piece involves a bottle of Black Llama, a cigarette and a small blue jelly.
7. He blanks everyone he meets.
8. He hasn´t left his room in the hostel for over a week.
9. He wears lipstick while drinking BBQ sauce.
10. He´s lying. He´s the most popular guy in town, with people ariving from miles around to get his attention. He´s hired me as his personal secretary to keep the numbers down. Since he arrived, his face has appeared on posters all over town, he´s been on television twelve times, has just been comissioned to advertise toothpaste and has just released a hit single (a cover of Ricky Martin´s "Uno, Dos, Tres").
Meanwhile, a local film director is currently filming an epic biopic about him to be released in time for the Oscars and starring Jonny Depp. He´s turned down seventy six marriage proposals and has had to refute allegations that he is the father of aproximately sixteen children.
Of course, celebrity breeds insecurity and hence he thinks that his friends are only there for the money... *sigh*
- posted by Vince @ 12:10 PM